The heart vs. the real world.

There comes a time when you have a decision to make about matters of the heart. You know you have to make it, you know you can’t put it off, but the possible consequences are potentially devastating. And you don’t want to deal with those consequences. But remaining silent will do nothing more than agitate you.
So you fret and fuss and overthink the shit out of it, wondering what to do. It plays on your mind, driving you even battier than you already are. But finally, you make the decision to speak to the other person, to tell them how you feel, consequences be damned. You have to be honest and true to yourself, even if that means nothing good will come of it.

And then, the decision is made for you. And as much as you’re relieved you don’t have to make it, it bothers you that the choice was taken away from you. It’s your call to make about how you communicate. You’re not upset with the other person; in a way, they’ve made it a lot easier for you to accept the situation and make peace with it. But you still wonder from time to time, what could have been, one way or the other.

It’s a familiar story, one whose refrain I’ve heard a lot over the years. But it’s very, very different when you’re the one making the decision. Very different indeed….

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A tired soul in a tired world.

I’m tired. Tired of a lot of the noise, garbage, and bullshit in this world. I need a change. I need new friends, a new job, and a much higher alcohol tolerance. Owning a bar would be nice as well.

I just don’t have it in the gas tank anymore. I exist and continue existing out of sheer inertia. I think I need a fresh start and perspective, but that’s not forthcoming.

Think I’ll hit the Burger King by my house later, grab a cup of coffee, and do some writing.

Some random thoughts while I go to make dinner…..

I have a follower! Hello, person from WordPress. Glad to see you find what I post interesting enough to want to know when I post more. I’m here very infrequently, so keep your eyes peeled. 🙂

On the subject of dinner, it’s going to be a loaded Nutribullet. Yes, David Wolfe is a fucking lunatic who talks out of his ass, but it’s the only way I can stomach veggies. And what I make is pretty tasty, so there’s that.

I’ve been writing quite a bit lately offline. Yes, I’m one of those crazy people that writes using pen and paper in addition to on a computer. I’m a legit fossil. 🙂 But when I look at what I’ve been writing, it’s been a big stack of wish fulfillment. It’s probably due to how rough things are for me at home, but that’s how things roll on occasion. It might change once things improve for me. We’ll see.

For a change of pace, I switched from Diablo 3 to Skyrim on my 360. I forgot how fun it was to play. The kill shots are a kick, and the aiming is fun, especially when you put an arrow in someone’s head. What, did you think I’d say knee? Come on, arrows to the knee are just so 2013…

I smell pizza. I had pizza yesterday, but the odor still lingers. Dammit, no pizza 2 days in a row! I gotta cut back on the carbs and cheese a little.

I follow politics a little, and I keep my responses on my Facebook page. This blog is more for the assorted other shit that pops into my head or needs to be said. Oh, don’t worry. Those who know me IRL and in other online areas know my take on things. I just need to keep this clear of that. Other things need to take priority.

Well, time to actually make dinner. Peace and chicken grease!