Say it if it’s worth saving me.

I hit karaoke last night. A friend’s son was celebrating his 21st birthday, and she decided his first official bar outing should be with the semi-professional drunks she knows and loves. It’s a good choice, as it gets him to learn his limits and tolerances with people he knows are safe to be around. Parenting done right, to be honest.

As is wont to occur at karaoke, the love songs popped up at the end of the night. And as I listened to them, as I enjoyed the sound and the lyrics and the people signing along (myself included), I came to a realization:

It’ll never be me singing those songs to my girlfriend, or fiancée, or wife.

They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and thinking you’ll get a different result. They’re right. 20 some odd years of dating, of searching for She Who Is Right For Me, and I’ve barely come close. So what’s the purpose of continuing to do the same thing only to get the same shitty result? What is it about dating and romance that supposedly makes it different?

It’s because humanity is so desperate to be with someone to avert loneliness that they’ll willingly drive themselves nuts with this in the hope of eventually breaking the pattern of heartache and loss. And all they’re doing is setting themselves up for more of the same, just in the future in smaller doses. If you look at that from a strictly logical point of view, it’s completely ridiculous.

And after what went down with Ms. No-Show, I have no faith in it. At all. There’s no point in investing time and energy into a zero sum game when I have far more important things to handle.

And you know what? I’ll be happy to restart dating…..once She Who Is Right For Me gets off her ass, finds me, and convinces me why I should give her a chance. I’m not going to put in the effort to impress her. SHE can impress ME. After all, I keep hearing all this yapping about feminism wanting equality, yet it does not seem to extend to dating. Well, let’s see that change. Let’s see women ask men out on dates and do all the things guys do for women to impress them. Let’s see the script get flipped.

But it won’t.

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Diablo 3: I gotcha, Treasure Goblins.

My current go to game on my Xbox 360 is Diablo 3. It’s really a great game, despite my 3 pages worth of complaints and issues I’ve accumulated in a notebook in my bedroom (which I’ll turn into a YouTube video at some point).

One of the most annoying little motherfuckers in this game is the Treasure Goblin. These little bastards have lots of health, are fast, and are basically immune to crowd control effects. Got a paralysis or stun power? Doesn’t work. Slow effect? LOL, this little fuck doesn’t care. Nothing really stops them.

But I found something that slows the little bastards down to a crawl. The Wizard passive Temporal Flux reduces an enemies movement by 80% for 2 seconds when you hit it with an Arcane damage spell. And it applies to ANYTHING with Arcane damage. Hydra gets it, Disintegrate gets it, Familiar gets it, Magic Missile gets it. If it does Arcane damage, the target gets slowed.

AND IT WORKS ON THOSE FUCKING GOBLINS. It works great, watching the little son of a bitch waddle along, unable to run away from the beating I give it and making it hand over its loot. It’s wonderful, I tell you.

And with the right mix of spells, you can take down the masses of them you get on occasion in Rifts. Anywhere from 10-30 of them pop up, and if you can slow them and get them in a corner, a powerful enough barrage (Disintegrate works wonders for this) can obliterate a lot or all of them and get you some serious loot. I pulled this off yesterday in a Rift, cornering about 10 of them and just blasting them into loot.

So use this advice and kill them goblins all day.

How NOT to date.

I was having a bad day today. Sad, depressed, tired, not wanting to get out of bed. Life for me has been rough for a while, and I’m not sure there’s an end for it in sight. But I push on, because that’s what I do. That’s what I have to do.

Then I looked at my phone.

Remember her? I do. And looking at my phone managed to enrage me. And if there’s one thing I know about me, once I’m angry, I gotta let it out. And here we are.

This past Friday, I decided to meet up with some friends and hit up the bar I go to for karaoke. As I’m waiting for the bus (and a colossal, Brooklyn inspired FUCK YOU to the MTA for being one of the biggest bunch of incompetent retards on the planet), she texts me. She claims that she no showed on me because her boss dumped 2 months of budgets on her for an 8AM meeting the next day. Allegedly, she left the office at 10 and didn’t stop working from home until 3AM. She also says she was so mad she threw her phone and cracked it.

Riiiiiight. I don’t believe a fucking word of what she’s saying. There was absolutely no excuse for her not to contact me before she supposedly got that mad at her job.

She then proceeds to apologize and uses her job as an excuse.

Really? You knew full well before we made these plans exactly how busy your job could be. This type of thing happening was not a surprise to you. You knew this could occur, but did you adjust for it? Did you decide to wait until the immediate craziness passed and things were at a less hectic level to try to meet up? Nope. You didn’t. You went full ahead and ignored the facts about your situation. Smart, real smart.

She then proceeds to complain how she didn’t even have time to doll herself up. Which I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT. You’re coming from work. I don’t expect you to look like you spent 3 hours on hair and makeup. I expect you to SHOW UP. I’m not going to critique your makeup and hair after work. I have no fashion sense. As long as you’re not wearing rags and don’t look like you went 10 rounds with Mike Tyson, it’s all good.

I have no interest in a 3 hour text conversation, so I call her. Goes to voicemail. She texts me that her phone’s earpiece can’t pick up voices so she can’t hear anyone that calls her. She says she’s going the next day to get her phone fixed. I tell her to call me after the phone is fixed. She says she will and thanks me for hearing her out.

That was Friday. Haven’t heard from her since. I’m not sure I will. And you know what? I just don’t care. she didn’t have the common sense to do things properly, to take into account the situation that is her life, and royally fucked up. Fuck this bullshit.

SHIT LIKE THIS IS WHY PEOPLE STAY SINGLE. If you want to meet up with someone, do the exact opposite of what she did and you’re golden.

Fucking bullshit.

The Spam Chronicles, Part 1.

As is common with everyone with an email address, I get spam. My email filter does a good job of keeping it out of my inbox, but I wanted to share with you some of what I got in terms of the email sender (not necessarily a real name or institution), title and whatever of the body I can read without opening them (because fuck doing that):

1) Senior Dating by 775M, “Who Knew Senior Dating Could be Easy”,Who Knew Senior Dating Could be Easy

2) X-T-8-0-8 Tac-tical, “Tes-ters_Wan-ted: FR-EE Tac.tical_Flash-light”, To Unsubscribe please Send an Email with Unsubscribe Request as the subject.

3) Certified Mail, “KEEP THIS CONFIRMATION NUMBER CASINO400”, safe unsubscribe

4) Jessica, “Fwd: I HATE YOU -F-U Mother F*Cker ??….”, -You piece of shit! Stop pretending to be my friend. Stick your finger in your ass mayb

5) Melliss, “Want a F#*k-Friend-Tonight?, “Hi (my email address name- !!!! I_need_YOU_in_my_bed_Tonight! … To Stop Receiving Messages And Unsub

Yeah, my spam is amusing. I think I’ll make this an ongoing blog thing, highlighting the hilarity of what I get.

Home shopping for guys?

So in my moments of boredom, I channel surf. And I seem to land on the home shopping channels, mostly QVC, but also HSN and Evine Live on occasion. Usually, I stare at the cute hostesses and good looking models. Hey, I’m a guy. Don’t blame me for liking what I like. 🙂

But in the time I’ve spent watching, I’ve noticed they have nearly nothing for guys. Almost everything is for women to buy. This confuses me. Surely the women that watch these shows would like to find something for the men in their lives, be it friends or family. I think one of the channels had men’s watches for sale about 2 years ago (Evine, I think), but that’s it.

Anyone have any theories about this? It confuses me that these channels would ignore a demographic that can make them a great deal of money. Anyone know if there’s any research about this?

Don’t get it twisted. I don’t care how they sell stuff. I’m just wondering why they don’t have more men’s stuff on there.

You are the reason people don’t date.

So, remember the chick I ranted about in my last post? I decided, out of the surprising amount of kindness somehow left in this withered black hole of a heart I have, to give her a chance to meet up with me. She swore she was 100 (yes, she used that fucking stupid emoji) going to meet me. We scheduled for yesterday at 6 to meet up.

I get off the train at 5:45. Given walking times in Manhattan, modified by foot traffic during rush hour and my walking speed, I was going to make it at around 6 on the dot, possibly a minute late. So I was all good for this. Or so I thought.

As is habit, I took out my phone and saw a text from her. At 5:36, while I was still on the train, she said she was running late and was going to meet me at 6:45.

What. The. Fuck. You swear we’re going to meet up, that you’re 100 sure you won’t have any problems, and you’re already telling me you’re gonna be late?

::Insert string of expletives and rage::

So I tell her where I’ll be. 6:45 comes around, she’s not there. I text her to find out where she is. No response. I exercise god-tier patience and wait until 7:30. No response, no nothing. I call her and it goes to voicemail.

::Insert string of expletives and rage::

I leave her a message kindly telling her to fuck off. Then I text her this:

“Check your voicemail when you get a chance. Goodbye.”

Haven’t heard from her since. Probably won’t. I went home, got pizza and called it a night.

As angry as I am over this (which is a reason why I’m doing this today, rather than last night), what is even worse is that she expressed interest in me and then pulled this shit. I didn’t approach her, I didn’t ask for her number. Hell, I had zero intentions that night of even trying to talk to any women. She gave her number to me, unsolicited, and then this shit gets pulled. People like her are why the rest of us despise dating. Men and women who do this are the problem in the dating scene.

I’m done. I’m done dating, done looking, done giving a fuck. The next woman that wants to go out with me had better be nothing short of immaculate when it comes to scheduling and showing up, because it’s one strike and she’s done.

Dating is bullshit. Don’t fall into the trap.

You cancelled on me? Fuck you.

I don’t ask too many people to hang out these days because their propensity to cancel on me has become fucking ridiculously frequent. I stopped making plans for a while because of it, and now I’m very selective about who I ask to hang out with.

I’ve also made it clear that if people want to hang out, they’re welcome to make the plans and let me know. So far, I’ve had all of……2 people take me up on that.

>_>
<_<

Color me surprised.

Friday night, I go to karaoke. I end up meeting this woman. She gave me her number without me asking for it. Alright. We chat over text and we schedule drinks for Tuesday.

I text her on Tuesday to confirm. I get told things are really busy at work. So we rescheduled for today. Doesn't respond to my text this morning. I text her before I get on the train. She tells me another work related issue has come up. I text her and ask if we're still meeting up.

45 MINUTES LATER, NO RESPONSE. Far as I'm concerned, she ditched me. I text her to contact me when things are less busy.

Look, I get jobs get nuts, especially where she works. But you have a responsibility to the people you make plans with to let them know if things are gonna change or if things have occurred to occupy your time. There's no goddamn reason for me to not hear from you.

So I'm done with her. Which is a shame, because she was pretty interesting.

Next!